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I'M A HOMO ..

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June 20, 2008 06:44 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
April 3, 2008

.. a homosapien, that is.

It all started when I was an awkward, shy adolescent and began thinking there something was something wrong with me, that somehow I just didn't fit in with all the other kids. My parents began to worry because I was introverted and never wanted to join in the gay parties and happy times my classmates were involved in. They thought I was hiding some kind of secret. One day, I couldn't take it anymore and decided to come out to my parents. I thought they'd be horrified and probably disown me, but I didn't care anymore -- the burden was too much to bear. Instead, they rolled on the floor, laughing their heads off. When they stopped laughing, they explained that they were homosapiens, too, and that our family had come from a long line of homosapiens dating back to Adam and Eve. Mom assured me that I was perfectly normal and that someday I'd meet and marry a homosapien boy and raise lots of homosapien kids. Boy, was I relieved!  I soon began dating a wonderful homosapien guy and that's just what happened. We've been happy and gay for 45 years now and have a beautiful homosapien daughter, a homosapien son-in-law and a homosapien granddaughter. I don't know what happened to my old classmates, but I'm told they went on to become Liberals and have miserable lives.

If there are any other homosapiens on the board, I thought we could get together and organize a "Homosapien Pride Day" with a parade and all. We wouldn't need to dress up, just wear our everyday "normal" clothes.  Anyone care to join me?

Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. (Alexis de Tocqueville)
June 22, 2008 10:14 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
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February 14, 2007
Very good article.  I'll come out of the closet and say I'm a homo too.  I can almost hear the old Dr. Pepper tune...."I'm a homo, you're a homo, he's a homo.....wouldn't you like to be a homo too?"

"A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders." Larry Elder
June 22, 2008 11:02 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
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February 11, 2007
HA!!!!

About Me: Keep The 2nd. Ammendment Alive At All Cost!! God gave us this right through man. Florida Constitution Article I, Section 8(a) The right of the people to keep and bear arms in defense of themselves and of the lawful authority of the state shall not be infringed, except that the manner of bearing arms may be regulated by law.
June 22, 2008 11:12 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
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February 14, 2007
Come on, DH, you KNOW you want to say it too!! 

"A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders." Larry Elder
June 22, 2008 11:12 AM Post Deleted by Moderator
June 22, 2008 11:41 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
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February 11, 2007
I'm waiting for the picures...Heheheh.

About Me: Keep The 2nd. Ammendment Alive At All Cost!! God gave us this right through man. Florida Constitution Article I, Section 8(a) The right of the people to keep and bear arms in defense of themselves and of the lawful authority of the state shall not be infringed, except that the manner of bearing arms may be regulated by law.
June 22, 2008 12:09 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
February 14, 2007

Okay.....here's one:

 



"A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders." Larry Elder
June 22, 2008 06:13 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
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April 3, 2008
Patsy said:

Okay.....here's one:

 

 

Ha, ha, ha!  When I saw that picture, I laughed to hard, tears ran down my legs.

Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. (Alexis de Tocqueville)
June 22, 2008 06:15 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
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April 3, 2008
Patsy said: Very good article.  I'll come out of the closet and say I'm a homo too.  I can almost hear the old Dr. Pepper tune...."I'm a homo, you're a homo, he's a homo.....wouldn't you like to be a homo too?"

OK, there's two of us homo-sapiens on the board.  Anyone else brave enough to come out of the closet?



Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. (Alexis de Tocqueville)
June 22, 2008 06:18 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
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April 3, 2008
Patsy said: Very good article.  I'll come out of the closet and say I'm a homo too.  I can almost hear the old Dr. Pepper tune...."I'm a homo, you're a homo, he's a homo.....wouldn't you like to be a homo too?"

 

Not that there's anything wrong with being a homosapien.   Some people are born that way and some aren't.

Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. (Alexis de Tocqueville)
June 22, 2008 06:33 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
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April 3, 2008
(Admin) Deerhunter said: I'm waiting for the picures...Heheheh.

 

Here ya go.  These are all red-blooded homosapiens and there's not a single girly-man among them.  Does this make you feel more comfortable?

 



Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. (Alexis de Tocqueville)
June 22, 2008 06:47 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
March 3, 2007

2nd row on the far left....yeah IMA...I'm a homosapien too! YOWSA!

 



"I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress." Ronald Reagan "Evil is powerless when the good are unafraid." Ronald Reagan
June 22, 2008 07:15 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
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April 3, 2008
(CM) BiotechBabe said:

2nd row on the far left....yeah IMA...I'm a homosapien too! YOWSA!

 

Alrighty then!  That makes three of us and Deerhunter is expected to come out any minute.  Before we know it, everyone will join our parade.   



Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. (Alexis de Tocqueville)
June 22, 2008 07:37 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
January 15, 2008

...and the debate rages on: is homosapienism an accident of birth or is it a learned behavior? Do homesapiens have a choice in their behavior or are they driven by out-of-control genes toward a particular sort of behavior? Is it nature or is it nurture that makes homesapiens...'that way'?

Like many men in my age group I'm in an identification crisis...am I homesapiens, or...something else? Perhaps Marsupial? Is that roll around my middle a pouch...or just the result of 60-plus years of debauched dining on red meat, avoiding vegetables and swilling thousands of gallons of distilled spirits? Simian, perhaps? ...although I have no prehensile tail, my arms seem longer and my knuckles now nearly drag the floor?

I need more time...dare I assert my species-hood?...or should I remain here, partly closeted?

Only time...and possibly extensive therapy...will tell. 



jColes But though my wing is closely bound, my heart's at liberty. My prison walls cannot control, the flight, the freedom of my soul. Jeanne Guyon, 1648-1717 "A Prisoner's Song" Castle of Vincennes, France
June 22, 2008 09:03 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
February 11, 2007

Yeah, I'm coming out. I love being a Homo...sapien, so let's MarchLaughing



About Me: Keep The 2nd. Ammendment Alive At All Cost!! God gave us this right through man. Florida Constitution Article I, Section 8(a) The right of the people to keep and bear arms in defense of themselves and of the lawful authority of the state shall not be infringed, except that the manner of bearing arms may be regulated by law.
June 23, 2008 04:06 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
April 3, 2008
jColes said:

...and the debate rages on: is homosapienism an accident of birth or is it a learned behavior? Do homesapiens have a choice in their behavior or are they driven by out-of-control genes toward a particular sort of behavior? Is it nature or is it nurture that makes homesapiens...'that way'?

No, it's not learned behavior, it's definitely something you're born with.  You know early on whether you're a homosap or .. uh, "miswired."

Like many men in my age group I'm in an identification crisis...am I homesapiens, or...something else? Perhaps Marsupial? Is that roll around my middle a pouch...or just the result of 60-plus years of debauched dining on red meat, avoiding vegetables and swilling thousands of gallons of distilled spirits? Simian, perhaps? ...although I have no prehensile tail, my arms seem longer and my knuckles now nearly drag the floor? 

Everyone has a prehensile tail, or should have.  It's called a tailbone and it can give you a lot of grief throughout your life if you stand upright.  Eat what you like, but I suggest you spend more time crawling on your hands and knees.  If you don't have a tailbone, then you may be "bi" -- half simian and half homosapiens. 

I need more time...dare I assert my species-hood?...or should I remain here, partly closeted?  

Only time...and possibly extensive therapy...will tell. 

That's right.  I wouldn't make any drastic life changes at this point.  My best advice would be to consult with a biologist, an anthropologist, a behavioral scientist, a neurologist, a zookeeper and, of course, a shrink.  If you're married and she doesn't know your dark secret, it's best to come out to her before you start your journey.  Good luck.

 



Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. (Alexis de Tocqueville)
June 23, 2008 04:11 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
April 3, 2008
(Admin) Deerhunter said:

Yeah, I'm coming out. I love being a Homo...sapien, so let's MarchLaughing

OMG - no, no, no!!  I said "normal" clothes.  Now take off those false eyelashes and high heels and dress like a man!   ::shaking old grey head::



Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. (Alexis de Tocqueville)
June 23, 2008 09:50 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
February 14, 2007
Aww, come on Ima.  I think he looks pretty good in "uniform!"  Leave him be!  LOL

"A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders." Larry Elder
June 23, 2008 09:54 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
January 15, 2008
I think DH's hair is stunning...

jColes But though my wing is closely bound, my heart's at liberty. My prison walls cannot control, the flight, the freedom of my soul. Jeanne Guyon, 1648-1717 "A Prisoner's Song" Castle of Vincennes, France
June 23, 2008 10:09 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
April 3, 2008
Patsy said: Aww, come on Ima.  I think he looks pretty good in "uniform!"  Leave him be!  LOL

No, we can't have someone of his ilk sashaying around on one of our floats, blowing kisses at all the guys along the parade route.



Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. (Alexis de Tocqueville)

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