Why I'm Voting Democrat....

A new video on YouTube is taking the Internet by storm. Entitled "I'm Voting Republican," the satirical clip depicts actors playing conservative Americans of all shapes and sizes explaining why they would vote for the GOP.

"Arnold Jones" says he's voting Republican because "all other countries are inferior to us" -- and his wife, "Trudy Jones," adds, "and we should start as many wars as we need to keep it that way." A soldier in Iraq states that he's voting Republican "so I can stay in Iraq" -- and a young boy, labeled "future draftee," points a fake gun at the camera and smiles while saying "so I can go to Iran!"

A black couple says they're voting Republican because they "like a conservative majority on the Supreme Court," with the wife noting, "we really like knowing that even if we're separate, we'll still be called equal."

This insulting nonsense is precisely what liberals think of conservatives: We're all warmongers, racists, environmental rapists and secret emissaries of big corporations. We're going to reinstitute the draft, start a war with Canada and then relocate African-Americans to Quebec.

This sort of tripe should be dismissed out of hand. In the spirit of evenhandedness and fair play, however, I feel it my duty to explain why I'm going to vote Democrat.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that the best strategy in war is defeat. It broadens the mind to learn Japanese, German and Arabic. Talk about multiculturalism!

I'm voting Democrat because I'm mad that George W. Bush hasn't caught Bin Laden. That's because Bin Laden is the only Islamic terrorist in the world.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that if I don't have enough money, the solution is for the government to take more of my money. Who needs money when gas is $5 per gallon?

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that the ideal family is two homosexual bonobos, a goat and a parrot raising a human baby. Love and compassion is all it takes to make a successful family!

I'm voting Democrat because it's my body, and if I want to kill my baby, I'll do it, even if its head is in the birth canal. If I want to cut out my intestines and feed them to the crocodiles, I'll do that too. That's the freedom our forefathers enshrined in the Constitution.

I'm voting Democrat because our enemies on the battlefield deserve comfy hotel rooms, Pay-Per-View, prostitutes and all the benefits of American citizenship.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe we need other countries' permission for me to turn down my thermostat.

I'm voting Democrat because I care about the real victims of crime -- criminals.

I'm voting Democrat because the real cure for racism includes preferential policies based on race -- particularly in presidential voting. If you believe that a black candidate ought to be qualified, as well as black, you're worse than Bull Conner.

I'm voting Democrat because everyone deserves crappy healthcare. Sure, you'll have to wait years for that life-saving cancer surgery. But it's first come, first served at the cemetery!

I'm voting Democrat because I believe in minority rights (except in Muslim countries), free speech (with regard to pornography but not conservative talk radio), environmentalism (unless we're talking about Al Gore's house) and diplomacy (but never backed by the threat of military force).

I'm voting Democrat because I like the words "hope" and "change." Also "kazoo." That's a funny word.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that America's founders were rich, white, greedy xenophobes, and that America's founding principles are hogwash requiring periodic editing from an unelected group of liberal judges.

Most of all, I'm voting Democrat because I like the ideas they have over in France, but I don't feel like moving there. I'll threaten to move, but I really won't. After all, I have a good job, healthcare, lower taxes, free speech and a social framework that promotes family structure. And all of it is defended by the most effective fighting force on the planet.

If only the institution of far-left values resulted in a great country. Oh, well. That won't stop me from voting Democrat, though. After all, I'm voting Democrat because thought isn't one of my strong suits.

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I received this in an email without a link to the source:

22 Ways to be a good Democrat 

1.              You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand 

2.              You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity 

3.              You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists 

4.              You have to believe there was no art before federal funding 

5.              You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by documented cyclical; changes in the earth’s climate are more affected by soccer moms driving SUVs 

6.              You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural 

7.              You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by lack of federal funding 

8.              You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. 

9.             You have to believe that hunters don’t are about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do. 

10.                       You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. 

11.                       You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make “The Passion of the Christ” for financial gain only 

12.                       You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is certain parts of the Constitution 

13.                       You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high 14.                       You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American History than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and Alexander Graham Bell. 15.                       You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not 16.                       You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person 

17.                       You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been is tried because the right people have not been in charge 

18.                       You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House 

19.                       You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal 

20.                       You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest of the United States 

21.                       You have to believe that this message is part of a vast right wing conspiracy 

22.     You have to believe in taking Christmas Day off work but it is not okay to say “Merry Christmas”.

Good point, msbobbie.

All those points you listed is the guidelines for all Liberals believe in and will make our country socialist over time.

This is why this November's General Election is the most important of the ages. Democracy vs. Socialism.

I am very fearful, MR.

msbobbie said:

I am very fearful, MR.