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I Want To Be A Secular Progressive

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January 17, 2008 03:48 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
April 7, 2007
 
I am a practising Christian, but lately I've been giving serious thought to becoming a secular progressive. The advantages of adopting this popular mindset are becoming more attractive every day.

Consider: As a Christian, one does the right thing, even when no one is looking. As a progressive, I can get public recognition, peer approval and moral points for my intentions. No need to actually do any heavy lifting. Very cool.
As a secular progressive I won't have to worry about guilt or wrestle with moral dilemmas. I can now  cheat on my mate and remain guilt free by merely purchasing credits from CheatNeutral. I don't have to worry about recycling, polluting the earth or being an energy hog - I'll just buy some offsetting 'carbon credits' from Al Gore's firm. If I decide to have a baby out of wedlock, I'll gain sympathy and government assistance instead of shame. There's also a possibility Nickelodeum will do a 'pregnancy special', just like Jamie Lynn Spears .

Progressives have a very, well, progressive way of dealing with the messy issue of sin and guilt. My favorite is a very public apology (multiple times...depending on severity of offense) followed by a month in rehab to demonstrate sincerity. This route has the added advantage of accruing extra points for 'courage' and 'insight', to say nothing of media face time. Now, I am cleansed and free to sin again. Progressives are nothing if not forgiving. (Unless you're a white Christian male.)
There's something very exhilarating about disregarding all the old traditional rules, especially when you can invent your own new ones. Progressives call this 'empowerment', which means indulging one's own feelings, not being bound by tradition, and defining your own reality. As a member of the Me generation, this is particularly appealing. If it feels good, do it. No more need to consider others, unless they're in an approved victim class. Like Palestinians, Guantanamo inmates or blacks, or women, or transvestites, or...well, you get the idea.

Another good reason to become a secular progressive is their absolute reliance on feelings over facts. Facts can be messy and at times, embarrassing.  Feelings, especially my own, can now be the defining perameter of my worth. I feel, therefore I am. Whatever I feel is automatically valid and if anyone dares challenge me, they are deemed judgemental. How cool is that? 
 
For all the advantages gained by becoming progressive, there are a few rules. I have to be very careful to never say the 'n' word, or the 'c' word, or the 'd' word. (Hugging blacks in public is not a rule per say, it's just highly recommended.) I must consider taxes as investments in the greater good and I must agree that all cultures are morally equal. I also have to acknowledge that there is absolutely no difference between men and women, that America is the cause of all the world's ills, that capitalism is evil and that government knows best. Oh, I also have to demonize the rich,  pretend Hillary isn't the face of socialism and act like everyone is a racist. Small price, eh?

Tomorrow, I'm going to call Meals On Wheels and tell them I'm not going to volunteer there anymore. Instead, as a progressive, I will do my bit for my fellow man by joining with millions of others in World Orgasm For Peace day. Whoever thought sacrifice could be so much fun!




Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.


No matter how thin the pancake, there are always two sides.
January 17, 2008 03:54 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
February 14, 2007
Tomorrow, I'm going to call Meals On Wheels and tell them I'm not going to volunteer there anymore. Instead, as a progressive, I will do my bit for my fellow man by joining with millions of others in World Orgasm For Peace day. Whoever thought sacrifice could be so much fun!

I think most of America must have missed the news and slept through the moment of the winter solstice GMT!!  Maybe someone's wet dream helped promote the cause??

"A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders." Larry Elder
January 17, 2008 06:08 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
June 16, 2007
So many jokes to type- so much restraint needed to not type them. Ha ha.

CITIZEN OF TEXAS....."GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!"- Patrick Henry, March 23, 1775
January 17, 2008 06:11 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
February 14, 2007
Oh go ahead....go for it Alamo.  We could all use a laugh!

"A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders." Larry Elder
January 17, 2008 06:16 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
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September 26, 2007
PRICELESS POST, NANCY. Absolutely priceless. "World Orgasm for Peace Day". What a liberal idea! (Oh. sorry--what a secular progressive idea).
January 17, 2008 06:20 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
June 16, 2007
Don't think I'll touch it with a ten foot...well you know.

CITIZEN OF TEXAS....."GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!"- Patrick Henry, March 23, 1775
January 17, 2008 08:01 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
September 5, 2007

Nancy,

Great post!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too bad you moved from California. They nee you really bad much more than South Carolina.

Mind telling us who you're gonna vote for?



"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." Thomas Jefferson
January 17, 2008 08:05 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
February 14, 2007
Ay-yup.....got the picture, Alamo!!   It's A Beautiful Thing 







"A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders." Larry Elder
January 17, 2008 08:20 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
September 27, 2007
Comment updated January 17, 2008 08:21 PM

I want the month in Rehab . Only if it makes me popular ! Whoa

 

yes i got the point of your article . well done 



Nam Vet 1967/1970 , 29 months there 4 a group of war profiteers . Skull & Bones can KMA
January 18, 2008 05:00 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
April 7, 2007

Modil,

 I'm still undecided. Guess I'll decide in tomorrow's primary. I know I won't vote for Huck or Paul..

Nancy

 

PS. It's amazing how much more effective I can be in a small state like SC. Besides, when the people here say 'Have a nice day', they actually mean it. Priceless.



No matter how thin the pancake, there are always two sides.
January 18, 2008 09:48 AM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
June 16, 2007
Patsy said: Ay-yup.....got the picture, Alamo!!   It's A Beautiful Thing 





 

Well that's good because I was trying to put it into layman's terms.

CITIZEN OF TEXAS....."GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!"- Patrick Henry, March 23, 1775
January 18, 2008 08:55 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
September 5, 2007
Nancy Morgan said:

Modil,

 I'm still undecided. Guess I'll decide in tomorrow's primary. I know I won't vote for Huck or Paul..

Nancy

 

PS. It's amazing how much more effective I can be in a small state like SC. Besides, when the people here say 'Have a nice day', they actually mean it. Priceless.

 

Nancy,

I went back and read your first post again. It's still great and cuts to the quick. You ought to send it to Bill O.

You're right about South Carolina. A very nice place as are most southern states.



"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." Thomas Jefferson
February 2, 2008 09:05 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
February 26, 2007
modill said:
Nancy Morgan said:

Modil,

 I'm still undecided. Guess I'll decide in tomorrow's primary. I know I won't vote for Huck or Paul..

Nancy

 

PS. It's amazing how much more effective I can be in a small state like SC. Besides, when the people here say 'Have a nice day', they actually mean it. Priceless.

 

Nancy,

I went back and read your first post again. It's still great and cuts to the quick. You ought to send it to Bill O.

You're right about South Carolina. A very nice place as are most southern states.

 

Well, modill,

It's like we say here in the south, "American by birth, southern by the grace of God."



"Government is best which governs least" Henry David Thoreau Civil Disobedience
February 2, 2008 09:09 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
February 26, 2007
Patsy said: Tomorrow, I'm going to call Meals On Wheels and tell them I'm not going to volunteer there anymore. Instead, as a progressive, I will do my bit for my fellow man by joining with millions of others in World Orgasm For Peace day. Whoever thought sacrifice could be so much fun!

I think most of America must have missed the news and slept through the moment of the winter solstice GMT!!  Maybe someone's wet dream helped promote the cause??

 

Well darn, ( I hope that wasn't to offensive )

I see this post was made on my birthday, and I missed it.

World Orgasm for Piece, excuse me Peace. Who would clean up the mess?



"Government is best which governs least" Henry David Thoreau Civil Disobedience
February 2, 2008 10:01 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
August 8, 2007
Great post, Nancy! You done good, girl!

"It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds. SAMUEL ADAMS "When principles that run against your deepest convictions begin to win the day, that battle is your calling, and peace has become sin. You must at the price of dearest peace lay your convictions bare before friend and enemy, with all the fire of your faith." Abraham Kuyper
February 2, 2008 10:13 PM    View printable version     Link to this comment   
Member Since:
August 20, 2007
Hey Nancy. As another old boy from the land of Dixie, I think your post is righ on. I don't think I've ever heard it said better. I salute you from southwest Arkansas.

Allen6207

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